WALAU now i know to capsize during a race is the worstworstWORST thing that can happen.
feel like shit after that.
especially when the cap was totally unexpected and you were leading and couldve gotten first to straight finals where you'll get to race with the NATIONAL TEAM omg.
shit MAN.
we went to the start line without any expectation
but after that when we saw that we were leading and couldve gotten first we started to think like HEY WE CAN ACTUALLY WIN THIS! i was thinking eh nothing seems to have changed since national schools. if anything, i felt stronger and better! because my back and left bicep not hurting like they did at national schools. the warm up was good. macritchie water suddenly became very comfortable. AND THE RACE WAS FUN. i was actually enjoying the freaking race! i could hear the boats behind us hot on our heels but it just made me want to row harder to pull away from them. the people who were shouting in the lanes on my right just made me want to pull harder. until suddenly we found ourselves in the water.
lhfoafhvkljdhnwfio;ehpi'f

i think the main reason why i am so upset is because going down the lanes at macritchie today made me realise how much i love that place.. how much ive sacrificed to complete what i started on 1.5 years ago.. how much we've gone through as a team..
i still remember one of the trainings the programme was 500m times 15 it was SO PAINFUL i wanted to just kill myself because it seemed to me then that it will be less painful than doing some more 500m omg.
and i still remember how it was like when we all started doing k1s. i cried on my first session cos i couldnt even row 10 strokes in bluetop w/o capping. i remember on some days when we went down after school for our k1 sessions, macritchie was already empty and it was just you and the water. so on sessions like this i always find myself thinking if i cap i will die cos no one will come and save me.
i still remember my first ever encounter with shaun. i was in my pathetic k1 when he appeared out of nowhere and shouted i row with you at me. so i was like :( shit. then he started shouting at me! he swore so much he managed to squeeze 2 F word in a sentence. and then i capped and he made me empty water at the board walk. i was so scared cos ive never tried emptying water there before then. after i got back into the boat he started shouting at me again. and i capped. after that dom and amanda were worried about the shoutings and the swearings and asked if i was okay. HAHA it was quite funny cos i wasnt really affected... just a bit intimidated. AH that was quite a long time ago.
i still remember during december training (or start of this year) there was this once bill was very angry with us. at first he was like GATHER. so we just echoed gather and thought he wanted to debrief us on something. but he just shouted PUSH UP so we got into our push up position. very quickly after, he shouted RECOVER. then PUSH UP, RECOVER, PUSH UP RECOVER. it was very scary cos both the guys and girls were there and all of us were doing PUSH UP AND RECOVER over and over again. but guess what, being NINALEE, i was secretly basically swallowing back my giggles. omg secret okay! then it was 40 sets of push up punishment. then both guys and girls formed a circle and we did the punishment as a WHOLE TEAM. i didnt feel tired at all cos we were all doing it together. before that i think i did like 25 sets. but it was something i will never forget cos it was super dark already the sun has set and we just did the punishment in the dark..
i still remember another time bill was very angry with the girls... it happened during dec holiday.. he made us hang for damn long and he scolded us while he hanged. after that he just shouted RECOVER and walked off. 25 sets... and we did it together... with the bloody ants.
speaking of ants i still remember the girls going to war with them... spent a long time attempting to drown them in water haha.
i still remember crying in the boat, with charmaine in front of me.. we were 2nd set into our 2km sets. i was having a terrible stomachache and wondering, as i look at all the other boats from other schools on the water, why so many people chose to fight and suffer pain at macritchie. i can be very weird sometimes thank you. but that time i was just too tireddddd and so, upset.
i can still remember one time bill made all the girls do 2km set over and over again cos we couldnt go under 12 mins. omg it was damn painful. but of course now doing a 10 mins 2km set is not a very big problem HAHA. the last time we did 2km it was around 10 mins.
i still remember running on the board walk during dec holidays and singing christmas songs while running haha.
i still remember fighting (and i really mean fighting) with the terrible water at marathon. and when we capsized my arms were so tired i couldnt lift myself up into the rescue speedboat.
i still remember national juniors with charmaine during which i swore to beat this k2 from XJC and i KIND OF did it today HAHA man if we didnt capsize SHIT!
i still remember national womens with joanne. all the 3 races on that day was the most unforgettable for me..
i still remember feb/march/april everything just kept doing downdowndown. and many times i found myself thinking 'if i really manage to get through the whole thing i will cry (and say wow you actually made it!)' Then, i didnt think that i'll be able to see myself pulling through but i didnt give up cos it wouldve been damn stupid to leave something you started on uncompleted. i just didnt like to leave anything uncompleted (okay maybe with the exception of homework HAHA kidding!). man it was really like the worst period of my entire life. struggling with going to school, keeping awake at lectures and tutorials and training after school. but shaun came and everything just become better (:

and so today, im able to sit infront of the computer and type all of the above out. i think it's my longest entry ever. and i have a lot more to say but i will not continue cos it's TOO LONG.
i havent talked about k4 yet but to summarise, k4 gave me the chance to know 3 very amazing people better! i must say ry you are very capable of keeping your silliness and cuteness under cover HAHAHA (:

okay the rest for another day!
i feel much better about the capzise today!
reminising about wonderful memories beats feeling angry over a stupid capsize! (: